Joe the Plumber is Afraid of ‘Queers:’ Surprised?

In many respects, Sam Wurzelbacher was the mascot of the 2008 election season. Slightly more intelligible than Michelle Bachman but certainly not as charismatic as Sarah Palin, Wurzelbacher’s “analysis” of the presidential race was daily fodder for multiple cable news outlets. Dubbed “Joe the Plumber” (because he initially lied about his name), Wurzelbacher has since been employed by a conservative internet media company, Pajamas TV, to act as an Iraq War correspondent. Seriously. I couldn’t make this stuff up, even if I tried.

Yesterday, Christian Today published an interview with “Joe,” asking the “plumber” about his views on same-sex marriage. I’ll let the following excerpt speak for itself:

Christianity Today: In the last month, same-sex marriage has become legal in Iowa and Vermont. What do you think about same-sex marriage at a state level?

Wurzelbacher: At a state level, it's up to them. I don't want it to be a federal thing. I personally still think it's wrong. People don't understand the dictionary--it's called queer. Queer means strange and unusual. It's not like a slur, like you would call a white person a honky or something like that. You know, God is pretty explicit in what we're supposed to do--what man and woman are for. Now, at the same time, we're supposed to love everybody and accept people, and preach against the sins. I've had some friends that are actually homosexual. And, I mean, they know where I stand, and they know that I wouldn't have them anywhere near my children. But at the same time, they're people, and they're going to do their thing.

I can see all you liberal minded folks (like myself) getting all worked up about this. But I know exactly what Joe is talking about—my gay friends are also totally cool with not being allowed near my children. They understand. We just have different political views. It’s not that I don’t, like, love and accept them. I just believe in God, you know, and I don’t want any gay-ness to rub off on my kids. I’m not prejudiced or anything. Like Joe, I’ve had some friends that are “actually homosexual.” Yeah guys, actually homosexual. Totally awesome friends. Actually gay. Not allowed near my children.

It’s times like these that we need more Meghan McCains. Thank God (yes, God) for the new polls indicating a growing plurality in support of gay marriage. There’s hope yet.