Come Out, Come Out Whoever You Are(?): Outings in Popular Media

To be upfront about this post, it is a response to Bryan Safi’s video That’s Gay: Coming Out. Upon a cursory viewing of the video, one does get a sense of how coming out on popular shows has been constructed in a way to amp up the drama. On this point, I agree. In his comical framing and colorful presentation, however, I question if he does just as much of a disservice to coming out, or rather the choice/experience of coming out, by his depiction of the examples he uses. I will only say two brief points that I believe are overlooked in his “analysis.” And it must be noted that both points grapple with the same question: what about the nonmoments?

To begin, I quote one contributor over at Womanist Musings, the blog where I found this clip. She states that

Once again, [Safi] is so bang on correct. The way that coming out is constructed in the media is absolutely ridiculous. I mean seriously…they make it seem like someone is admitting to murder. Heaven forbid the media just have GLBT people going on with their lives just like everyone else. Oh no, we cannot possible portray being gay or lesbian as anything other than an oddity.

However, I wonder if the contributor to Womanist Musing listened/watched the entire clip. Safi mentions that there has been a proliferation of “outings,” both voluntary and involuntary, in recent history in the media (in this case speaking only to TV sitcoms). He states that “coming out” has been depicted in a number of ways and through various avenues and the like. In fact he outlines, again in a colorful manner, some himself. The question I have is, does this not speak to reality more than fiction? Is it a sign of times getting better and not worse? Though Safi doesn’t include clips from Grey’s Anatomy, for instance, there was an occasion with Cali where the more fanatical, hysterical “outing” didn’t happen. To use one example Safi uses himself, Glee, wasn’t Kurt’s coming out—both to Mercedes and his father—one of the modal occurrences? What about Calvin in Greek: Ashleigh thinking Calvin is hitting on her and she makes a move (a kiss) only to be stopped with the news that he is gay? I am not saying that this is in fact how everyone who is outwardly gay came out, but Safi’s portrayal, at least to me, sullies and minimizes those experiences.

Though I agree that “coming out” has been incorporated into scripts to draw in the crowds, I have to ask about the assumption that we are making about the entire cast of characters being heterosexual save for those who will be somehow marked as gay. I know that some will say this is a statistical fact; there are more heterosexual individuals than homosexual. This may very well be the case but we still see instances in popular sitcomes where we are left in surprise when we find out someone is gay and it is not an instance of the “Flaming Kamikaze” or the “Kanye West Swift Kick.” I think about Grant from Greek, a show that Safi himself uses twice as evidence for his producers using coming out as an attraction to lure viewers in. No one on the show knew that Grant, Calvin’s new boyfriend, was gay until he and Calvin started hooking up. It seems to me that from the position Safi puts himself in is one that assumes everyone is straight until proven otherwise. That, to me, is problematic in and of itself though I do understand that given the history of LGBQTI individuals in the media, it is a reasonable assumption.

When speaking of such an important life event in people’s lives I think we have to be a little smarter in our analysis even when trying to be snarky and comical. Sadly, Safi sensationalizes the outings in the same manner he vilifies the media for doing. Is that the pot calling the kettle black? Instead of taking a more exhaustive, panoramic view of the presence of LGBQTI individuals on television shows and their “outings” and lack thereof, Safi lets us all down, gay and straight alike.

At least BET got ONE thing right (And I do mean one)

Rarely do I watch BET. Growing up, I thought it just wasn’t a good network, mediocre at best. The news show was sub par, the reporting even worse. And the selection of shows, personally, I thought were lacking in substance and often times talent. As time progressed, and ownership changed hands, it slipped even further into the back of my mind as a station to watch only if, emphasis on the only, they were showing The Color Purple, Harlem Nights, or some other movie of merit. When Aaron McGruder’s "Hunger Strike" Boondocks episode depicted his thoughts on BET was banned I thought that it was censorship taken too far as the episode was, albeit sensationalized in a way that portrays McGruder’s wit and critical tongue, accurate.

Last night, I watched the BET Awards, not to support BET, but to see how they would (mis)handle the death of Michael Jackson. I was not mistaken in my initial skepticism of how they would incorporate the death of Michael Jackson into the makeup of the show. A friend said that it felt as if Michael’s death was used more as a hook to get a larger audience than anything else. In many ways, I agree. I will not touch on that here because the point of this post is to reflect on at least (and sadly at most) one positive thing that I saw at the BET Awards last night: the time taken to honor those whose life story and work deserves more attention that it receives.

I salute those at BET who insisted on including those segments of the show to pay homage to members of the Black community outside of the music and entertainment industry. Jamie Foxx introduced Mayor-Elect James Young who will serve as mayor of Philadelphia, Mississippi, site where three Civil Rights workers were killed in 1964 and a site where tumultuous, racial tensions persist—in other words, a place where the KKK was once truly king. We, as a nation, heard about those individuals who started and maintain Food from the Hood (FFTH), a community based organization that serves to educate (in the larger sense of the word) others outside the classroom yet still within the community. We heard about how this community based organization is able to provide scholarship moneys for youth to go beyond the boundaries of their neighborhood or city for school. We, as an audience, as a collective body, were also reminded of the three friends—Sampson Davis, George Jenkins and Rameck Hunt—who beat the odds to become successful doctors and how they then, with their new positions in life, work to help others follow in their footsteps. So, I say, kudos to BET. I also encourage all to look up some of the work of these individuals as it is important to not only be aware of their work but also be cognizant of the work being done.

Rarely are minority groups, especially Blacks, able to control their image. Rarer still do minorities have a medium through which to show our “better half,” our “better side,” for these moments are usually relegated to spaces with smaller audiences and narrower ranges. This is especially true when there is no dancing or singing involved (which is also a topic for discussion). The media harks on the dark side, the side some of wish to forget, to disassociate from: the crime, the desolate living conditions that “the poor” caused to fall upon themselves, the crime, the high dropout rates, and the crime. This small glimmer of light in an otherwise dismally dark show made enduring it worthwhile. I say again, kudos to BET.